Torn.

How can life go on? When will this sorrow cease? How can we smile again with the deep, wrenching, tearing pain of part of our soul torn away? When will the tears stop flowing at the memory of him? Will he become a cold, distant, far away memory? Will our raw, bleeding, broken hearts heal? Or will he always be with us, calling us to love You more? Will he haunt our dreams and minds till we die? Will our hearts always bleed for him? Will time heal our wound?

Grief.

      One of my best friends went to be with the Lord yesterday(May 5, 2012). It is probably one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me. You'd think over thirty minutes straight of balling my eyes out would be enough. But nope, the tears just keep flowing. And yet, at the same time, I'm almost jealous. Because he is in a far better place. He is more alive than he has ever been before. No sunset or sundown can ever compare to the beauty of what he is seeing right now. So why do I still wish with all my heart that he was still here with us today? I don't know. I guess it's how God made us.
It makes me happy to know that he is in heaven now.  The sad part is that he had to drown at 19 to get there. I weep when I realize that I will never see him again in this life. I weep when I think of his family. I weep when I think of how he went. But I smile when I realize that I will see him...in a better place...for eternity. You were so loved Josh. We all miss you SO much. Seeya later man.


-Caleb